Since cowboys first swaggered into a saloon and ordered a straight whiskey, since James Bond swilled his first martini, drinks have defined personality. It may be a dying art, but there is still plenty a girl can tell from the drink a man orders.
Whiskey Drinkers
You’re a man’s man. You’ve left your youthful whimsy behind you and it’s been years since you last shot-gunned a beer in a parking lot. You’re mature, with a hint of backwoodsy capability. Whiskey is not for sissies. You need a strong jaw and an iron stomach to enjoy the bitter taste and you almost certainly smoke the occasional cigar. Whiskey drinkers, we hail your sophisticated manliness.
Mojitos
Aiiiiiiiii! This feisty drink says “I’m fun!” If you are sun-kissed, athletic and outdoorsy, this is the cocktail for you. Hot Cuban nights, sun-drenched beaches and the sultriness of the tango require the heat-busting, thirst-quenching bite that the mojito brings. The Mojito is the pirate of the cocktail world, don’t drink it if you haven’t seen your legs in months and have no idea what ‘board shorts’ are.
Gin and Tonics
Martinis scream “I want to be James Bond!” while the Gin and Tonic merely state that you are. The G&T drinker is sophisticated; he wears beautifully tailored suits and expensive but understated watches. His nails are clean, his abs are ripped and he possesses an effortless elegance.
Appletini
Drinking an appletini while trying to pick up women is like eating a pizza on a treadmill. I bet all the waitresses at Olive Garden know your name and are pretty tired of you trying to guess their phone numbers. I bet you’ve written an app for that.
Beer
Hello neighbour! Yup, you’re the guy next door. You love sports and pizza and your apartment could qualify for emergency relief funds from the UN. You’re dependable, lovable, fun and funny. Beer guys the world over, we salute you!
