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These New Year’s Resolutions Have Had It With You!

Oh great. It’s a new year. A time when we humans have decided to thrust a stake in the ground and declare the many ways we shall improve in our  very core humanness in the year to come. No pressure or anything.

We don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer on the situation. Resolutions can be great! There are those among us that really take them to heart and emerge as fit, smart, clever and funny people who use their weekends to volunteer and clean up litter.  They are an inspiration to us all.


At Mogo, we’re in the business of growth and success, so we’re pretty chummy with resolutions. You could say, we rub elbows with them on  a daily basis. This year, we wanted to get to the bottom of the problem. So, we asked the three most popular of resolutions (not to brag, but, they are good friends of ours) to write directly to you and dissect the problem from their opinion.


Hi, it’s your gym membership. I can’t make excuses for you anymore. Do you hear me? Don’t look me in the eye on January 1st and make a commitment, and then turn around and treat me like another one of your chores. Oh, I get it, you’re just too busy. You have too much to do. You couldn’t possibly visit me for ten minutes. It’s all or nothing with you.  I know what it is. You just weren’t ready. I should have seen it all along.


Here you are, a soft, happily sedentary person who thought you’d get a gym membership and be immediately strutting your activewear from Zumba to Hot yoga like a muscular adonis. This whole time, what you really needed to concentrate on was walking around your block.  Walk around your block until you outgrow walking around your block, and then walk around your neighborhood. When that grows boring, then, and only then, will I consider a commitment with you. Until then, you’re just not ready for me.


Quitting cigarettes calling. Now is just not a good time. You know how many parties, get-togethers and general merriment you had to attend over the holiday season. And, you know what goes great with merriment? A cigarette! Here’s what I’m going to say to you: Hope you had fun over the holidays. Drinking, smoking and partaking in any vice you like. You only get a pass once a year and it may take you a little time to wean off this vice. Come Spring, we’ll rethink this quitting altogether thing. When that time comes, may I suggest gum?


Saving money here. I’ll tell you why we never got along: You don’t even know what you’re saving for. Socking away extra dough could be easy if you have a reason to sock it away. Just having “savings” in general is not good enough. And you don’t want to hear that because you think I’m just here to take money away from things you enjoy. I’m trying to tell you that’s not the case.


I want to supply you with more money for things youwill enjoy in the future! First thing first, wipe out money you owe by jumping on the Uncreditcard Your Life bandwagon and don’t use your credit card for 30 days. Once all of the money you make goes back to being yourmoney, you can save up for that yacht, a motorcycle or that sexual reassignment surgery. Hey, we don’t judge.


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